The Grand Finale (Conversation Partner & An Ode)

Part I: Conversation Partner Meeting #6 

Comrades, it seems our journey has met its end. 

The semester is dwindling down and with it, finals come tumbling at you at roughly 1,000 mph. It's casual, we promise. 

My last meeting with Ileana was short. Ileana had finals going on so she had a lot on her mind and on her agenda. 

We talked about the future and what it holds. 

Ileana is planning to get her Master's at TCU. She has grown to love TCU and the Fort Worth community, and who could blame her.

I asked her what she had learned most from this experience, as I was curious if this had enriched her life. She said she had learned to be tolerant and learned more in general about American culture.

I told her I had learned about her and some about her culture, but honestly I had hoped to get more out of it.

I wish Ileana had cared as much as I had about this experience. I'm not sure if this is true, but it seemed as though she was "too cool" for this experience. She didn't make time in her schedule, and when she did she would either A) cancel at the last minute or B) not show up. It was upsetting to see so many other classmates have this wonderful times with their partners and I barely even know Ileana. 

I understand that most people had a life-altering experience. I wish I could have had that too. 

This is absolutely NOT saying that Ileana is anything but a kind person and an excellent student. This is saying that she did not have the time or will to go on this journey with me. She is extremely busy, as am I. The difference is this was not a part of her grade.

I think it would help if maybe the IEP students were asked whether or not they wanted to participate. Then if a student does not have the time or want, he or she does not have to participate. 

I had a lot of hopes for this experience, and it left me bereft. 

But, what more have I learned? Even failed experiments yield experience.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part II: An Ode to Lit and Civ II

I loved this class. I'm not sure if anyone will understand what I mean by this, but this truly felt like a college class. I felt like I was learning on a new level than some of my other classes (I'm looking at you Baby Bio). Shout out to John V. Roach for enriching my college career. 

Choosing a theme to rest your curriculum on is spectacular. You know throughout the semester that whatever you read, see, or experience will have to do with water (our theme). It is refreshing to have a class set up this way.

The real gem of this class was two-fold: Dr. Williams and my other classmates.

Dr. Williams: you are one of the best TCU professors. I have learned so much in this class, far beyond the limits of a classroom. I have delved into the water crisis head first and emerged a more learned human. I know much more about my planet than I dreamed I would from Lit and Civ II. Thank you for being a honest, humorous, awesome professor. 

Class: thank you. I have loved this class from beginning to end. There seemed to be a huge camaraderie that existed within those four walls (and outside too). Each of you is unique and weird (in the best way) and boy, am I gonna miss this class. 

With that, I bid you arrivederci. 

Farewell, comrades, and Godspeed. 

Conversation Partner Meeting #5

As the year comes to a close, so does the relationship I have with my conversation partner. It's not that I wouldn't like to continue our relationship, however, I will be the one studying abroad in Florence.

At this meeting, Ileana and I were both in the Christmas mood, so we talked about our own Christmas traditions.

Ileana loves Christmas and spending time with her family, and she wanted to know about my American Christmas traditions.

My family has strict Christmas traditions that I uphold. The day after Thanksgiving we put up our tree and decorate our house while listening to Christmas carols and drinking hot cocoa. It is one of my favorite days of the year! The excitement is still blossoming, but the Christmas spirit has begun.

On Christmas eve eve (December 23), my family goes over to our Aunt/Uncle/cousin's house to celebrate Christmas. We bring wings and just have a low-key day. They live out in the woods so we always spend sometime out by the lake, reflecting on the year. We exchange gifts and, let's be honest, all the adults of age get a little tipsy (which is just fine during the holidays). I love this day! It makes me feel so connected to my family, God, and Christmas.

On Christmas eve, we always go to Maggiano's, an Italian restaurant, to celebrate our Italian roots and eat lots of food. On our way home we get Starbucks and look at Christmas lights. Christmas eve night we always make Polar Express Hot Chocolate and watch White Christmas.

On Christmas morning, we wake up early and run to the tree to see what "Santa" has left us. Christmas morning is going to be special to me every year. Some people say they lose the magic of it, but it hasn't lost its shine to me. We open presents and then go over to Baba's (my grandma) house and open presents and eat Christmas brunch. There are always cinnamon rolls, sausage and egg casserole, and coffee. Then we take a Christmas nap. Later in the day, we watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas or The Polar Express, and always A Christmas Story. We just hang out and enjoy family time, which may not sound exciting to everyone, but I absolutely love it. Then I help my mom cook Christmas dinner, where the star of the meal is always beef wellington. We wrap up the night with Cherry Delight and It's a Wonderful Life. 

Ileana said this year she will be staying in Fort Worth for Christmas. I told her I thought that would be exciting, since last year they had a white Christmas. Fort Worth is a special town, and having a holiday here would be magical. The community here is beautiful.

Ileana was telling me that this was her first Thanksgiving and she enjoyed taking part in an American holiday. I told her the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is one of the best parts, but she missed it! I told her to definitely watch it next year because it is a spectacle to behold.

We only have one more meeting left. I can't believe this semester has flown by already!

Conversation Partner Meeting #4

Ileana and I dove right in for this meeting.

I knew I wanted to know about her collegiate experience prior to TCU, so that is where we started. Ileana told me that she went to University from 2002-2007. She got a degree in telecommunication engineering. She studied at a public university with very strict rules. Ileana said it was in a different city than her hometown, so she lived along during this time. She said it gave her a great experience that taught her responsibility, maturity, and independence.

I told her that my TCU experience has been similar to that. I moved far from home to come to TCU, which is my dream school. Texas is a whole next culture and it took some getting used to, but man do I love it. Even small things like doing your own laundry, making your own appointments, and planning your own schedule help you to realize you are an adult. Being an adult, to me, means exactly what Ileana described: responsibility, maturity, and independence.

We talked about TCU and our favorite and least favorite parts about it.

Ileana loves TCU because it has allowed her to learn English in a special environment. She thinks that students should be more grateful for the privilege their parents have them by being allowed to study at this amazing university.

I told her that I love TCU because it has given me the tools I need to succeed, both academically and socially. I am able to study and manage my responsibilities in a balanced manner, while still maintaining a healthy social life. TCU has the best parts of a large and small university.

Ileana's favorite thing about TCU is all the facilities it has to offer. She works at the REC and loves her job, and loves the other academic and recreational buildings too! I agree, out campus is a beauty.

When I asked her about what she liked least about TCU, she responded that there wasn't anything she disliked. I responded that the only downsides for me were how far away I am from home and the price. She had to agree - that is one hefty price tag.

I have enjoyed getting to know Ileana on a more personal level and can't wait to see her again soon!

Conversation Partner Meeting #3

Today when I met up with Ileana I knew I wanted to learn more about her. The previous two meetings, while enjoyable, had been more casual. Today I wanted to know something concrete about her.

When we met up, I told Ileana about this and she asked if this was going to be like an interview. I said I hoped it wouldn't be, but ensured her she should ask me questions as well.

I wanted to know about Venezuela and her life before TCU.

Ileana told me her hometown is a beautiful, warm place. She remarked several times about the nature surrounding it and beautiful and warm weather. She does not like the cold and hopes there is not another ice-storm this year.

We talked about Florida and how Florida and Venezuela seem similar in weather. Very warm, humid, tropical places. None of this freezing temperatures thing, which we would both like to avoid.

She told me that one of the best parts about home was the people. People are warm and friendly and she was always welcome to any of her friends' houses. She likes the "open-door" policy. I told her that I felt the same way about my friends back home, and she said, "Don't you miss it?"

I do. It's odd going from knowing people your whole lives to coming to a town you've never lived in and being forced to live with people you never met. I was comfortable at home, but that's the thing about college: it's not comfortable. Instead it is powerfully different and a complete 180 from the comforts of home. You do your own laundry and make your own plans.

Ileana and I discussed this at some length. We both miss home, but love Fort Worth.

Then I asked Ileana about her family and things she misses from home.

Ileana has an older brother who lives in Mexico and her parents, while divorced, have a good relationship. They both live in Venezuela.

She misses the food the most from Venezuela.

I told her about my study abroad next semester in Florence and said that I knew I would miss American foods, too.

I get nervous about what else I will miss while abroad too.

TCU, home, food, people I know, comfort.

But that isn't what this time in my life is about. I want to break out of my nine dots and explore the world around me. I have barely scratched the surface of places I want to visit. I have a thirst for learning about cultures different from my own, and it can only be quenched by travel.

I think about Ileana and her experiences and often find myself trying that on for size. Her parents and brother live in different countries than each other and her. How and when do they get together? My little brother is one of the closest people to me. I would not like not seeing him every time I went home.

This opened my eyes to how different and similar Ileana and I are. We both go to TCU, but she is learning English and I am learning Strat Comm. We both have brothers, but mine is at home with my parents. We both will study abroad, me in Florence, her in Texas.

The more time I spend with Ileana, the more I see her in a new and different light. Every time we meet there is a new facet to her which I didn't see before. I hope to learn more about her culture, too.

I wonder what will happen next time?

Conversation Partner Meeting #2

After countless text messages, slight miscommunication, and a little uncertainty, I bundled up at 5:50 to make the arctic freezing trek from the Greek to the Rec. Normally I would find this a short walk, but when it is 37 degrees out, I find myself questioning why I don't own a ski mask.

Ileana works until 6 at the Rec so we decided to meet around 6:10 at the booths.

Finally we were sitting down and having a one-on-one conversation.

We started off complaining about the weather, which to two girls from Venezuela and Florida is the worst. Ileana told me she spends most of her time in Venezuela but also frequently visits Mexico, neither of which have the "harsh" winters Texas is having.

I explained to her the catastrophic events of last year's "Icepocalypse," which we all whisper about like Lord Voldemort, hoping it won't rear it's ugly head and return. At first she didn't know what an apocalypse was, but then she realized it means the same thing in English and Spanish. I told her about Fort Worth's lack of preparation for any such event and that the roads were iced over for days and walking to class should have qualified us for Olympic Ice Skating. She is hoping the Icepocalpyse was a one time deal (and I wholeheartedly agree).

Ileana had midterms this week, which I find strange so I asked her about her schedule. She said, basically, that they have four weeks of learning something, then they take finals and then the next week they start a brand new topic. I honestly don't think I would work well like that, but who knows maybe I would have 100% in all my classes haha.

We got on the subject of Harry Potter and that Ileana is eager to visit Orlando, where Harry Potter World is. I told her about my adventure there this summer and that it was definitely worth the hefty price tag. She asked if Miami was close to Orlando (since she has friend there) and I told her it was about 5 hours. She was stunned! Many people think Florida is small, and while it is thin, it certainly is long! Half of my drive from FL to TX is getting out of Florida.

We talked about how going home for us (right now) would be great because it is sunny and warm, and boy, we are both missing that right about now.

Ileana and I are true bargain hunters and talked about the woes of expensive clothes: how we want them, but won't pay the shocking price. We got on the subject of Black Friday and I told her some horror stories, but that sometimes it's not that bad (yeah, okay). I introduced her to the beauty that is "Cyber Monday." It also could be known as "Sit at home in pajamas and get on your computer to buy everything on sale Monday."

Finally, Ileana asked about sororities, which she called fraternities. Apparently in Venezuela, all such things are called fraternities. She asked if I applied to get in and I told her all about the recruitment process and that everyone gets initiated. She was a little surprised to hear that you don't just apply, that we clap and sing in PNM's faces, that we have to pay dues, and that we have all girls sororities. I don't think I have ever tried to explain recruitment to someone who had no knowledge of it. It was odd and I think I may have made it sound like a cult...

It was a short meeting. Ileana has a very intense schedule so she didn't have much time to talk. We parted ways with plans to meet next week and literal warm wishes. Seriously, we told each other to stay warm.

Ileana is easy to talk to, loves Harry Potter, prefers the warm weather, and likes to find a good bargain. She also is very focused on her studies and work. Sounds a whole lot like someone I know...

Conversation Partner Meeting #1

As soon as we were told that for this class we would each be paired with a "conversation partner" in IEP, I was excited. I love learning about new cultures and meeting new people. I anxiously awaited an email with contact information so I could meet him or her as soon as possible.

Finally, I got the email. I text her, Ileana from Venezuela, as soon as I had her information and waited for a reply.

And waited.

And waited.

I finally got a response and we picked a time to meet the following week.

I showed up to the bookstore early to get settled and pick a table and waited for Ileana to get there.

And waited.

And waited.

I got a text message from her saying she actually had to be somewhere else at the time, so we would have to reschedule. I understood, because I know things pop up, and everyone forgets from time to time.

We rescheduled, and again we didn't meet after I came down with bronchitis.

After weeks of miscommunication and texting back and forth we had set a time to meet, and I was thrilled. We would meet at the party the IEP students threw for their conversation partners. Most people had met their partners 2 or 3 times by this point.

Nonetheless, I was stoked. I wanted to meet Ileana and put a face to a name. She seemed lovely over text and I had been told by multiple people in the program she was one of their best students and just a lovely person.

I showed up to the party a little early and waited. Now was when I realized it would have been helpful to know what she looked like! Britt (a member of the IEP team) came up and asked who my partner was and I told her Ileana. She looked around a little bit and then pointed her out.

Ileana is smart and seems to have many friends in the program. She is super easy going and could talk to anyone about anything. She made me feel so comfortable sitting at a table of people I had just met!

We got on the subject of weird American sayings, and at first I didn't understand. Then we got to the funny part. Ileana said how strange it was that we add "though" to the end of our sentences. I busted out laughing, because it is ridiculous. We laughed over the fact that it made no grammatical sense and that she had trouble understanding such an odd quirk.

Then, someone else at the table told the story of getting her Texas driver's license. She said that the instructor told her, "Go ahead and back up," which she thought meant pull forward, and then back up. It wasn't until she did just that that the instructor said, "what are you doing?" She said, "I went ahead and then backed up!" Go ahead to us means "do it" but to people whose first language is not English, it means to literally go forward. We were all laughing so hard. I had a wonderful time!

Ileana and I decided to just text each other and see when a good time to meet the following week was. We are both really busy with work and school, so the next time that worked was this upcoming week. I am looking forward to speaking with Ileana one-on-one to get to know her better.

But, Hey, Things Change

One of my best friends is someone I met my freshman year at TCU. She is a hilarious, loyal, forgiving, trustworthy, genius, quirky person with whom I instantly clicked with during the exasperating required Frogs First activities. We were practically inseparable all year, but then in January that year, she told me she would be transferring to a college that was closer to home, and I was devastated.

Who else would have Harry Potter marathons with me?

Who else could I laugh until I cried with?

Who else would accept how weird I was?

Then I didn't have the answers. But now I do.

As a freshman, you make a lot of poor bad interesting decisions. Going greek was not one of those.

(I truly hope this is not a cliche "my sorority changed my life post")

I came to TCU knowing I would go greek because my sister is greek here. I knew I would end up in her house, and was thrilled when I did.

Everyone always says a sorority is what you put into it, but I didn't realize that until I had to make friends. I realized I had done nothing freshman year to help myself become friends with these women who I apparently shared values with and could call sisters.

After my best friend told me she would be transferring, I started attending more sorority events and hanging out with girls I would see at chapter meetings. Then I realized, WOAH, these girls are amazing, quirky, talented, bright, spunky individuals who I can click with, too.

Now, don't get me wrong, my best friend cannot be replaced, and we are still best friends to this day, but I needed to be surrounded by people who could make me laugh and could fill a void I had.

And my sisters filled that void.

Here I am, a junior, living in the sorority house, and as involved as I can be with my academic load. I have learned from my freshman and sophomore years quite a bit.

Who else would have Harry Potter marathons with me?

Who else could I laugh until I cried with?

Who else would accept how weird I was?

My sisters.

I know this is probably all kinds of cheesy but, wait for it! I learned something.

I learned that relying on one person for all your friendship needs is like putting all your eggs in one basket.

I learned that I am not the hardest person to get along with and made friends much easier than I thought I would.

Sometimes you need things to fall out of place, so they can be put back into a new and meaningful place.

I am not someone who accepts change easily or happily. I react poorly to all forms of change. But change can be good. It forces you to look around and evaluate and see who you have in your corner. Maybe you need to rearrange, or in some cases start over completely.

Only one thing in life is certain: that change is a part of it. Whether it is a change of scenery or pace or people or work, change is bound to happen. For me to have been in denial that change is a possibility is naive, yes, but also part of growing up. I think, if you are lucky, you come from a place of stability with little to no change on a daily basis. Then one day, you are 18 and change happens all around you.

Everyone talks about how college is a new beginning, a period of transition from adolescence to adulthood, like no other time in your life. And maybe part of that is realizing that change is healthy and normal and something that is going to happen. Not most likely, but will happen.

One day your best friend, attached at the hip, is planning on living with you in the commons next year, and making plans for spring break, and the next she is transferring.

One day your sisters are these abstract faces you see in passing and refer to as a whole, and the next are people you couldn't live without.

But, hey, things change.

Water Wonderland

Over the very eventful weekend, I got sick.

I'm almost positive it is a simple cold, but it still sucks.

Anyway, while I have been sick I find myself doing a lot of things that use water. I wash my hands almost twice as much, I take long hot showers to help my congestion, and I drink hot tea.

This got me thinking about how much water and health go hand in hand. How healthy can anyone be if they don't have access to water, let alone clean water? How much water does a hospital use? Could a hospital, urgent care, or doctor's office survive one day without clean water?

Probably not.

This got me thinking about countries who don't have clean water. What are their surgical success rates like, and are they at all correlated to clean water resources? I can't imagine having surgery done by a surgeon who hadn't washed their hands all day, let alone scrubbed in less than a minute before. The thought scares me. What kind of bacteria could be lurking?

We have access to 24/7 clean water. And when the water gets shut off for a multitude of reasons; we freak out.

Case in point: I am a Floridian. As a born-and-raised Floridian, hurricane season is something you prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. In 2005, Hurricane Charlie hit. There were trees trapping people in their neighborhoods, power outages, and some water shortages. We were without power, (including AC in the sweltering heat) for days. We all could manage, until my mom turned on the sink and no water came out. We packed up the car and headed to a hotel with generators.

People don't know how to cope without something they have always had until they don't have it anymore. Humans have to have water to live.

As I have previously stated, I am from Florida. That being said, I had no idea that most of the country, and much of the world, was in significant drought. Where I am from, you can't have basements because underground is full of water. We have lakes galore and a working water reclamation program. We have actual "water parks" and giant rides that use thousands of gallons of water a day to push a boat down a river. There is a fountain at the beginning of every neighborhood and mall entrance. Droughts were a foreign concept to me before this class.

Now I understand that a drought is an international problem that affects everyone. We need to work together to understand and evaluate water resources and ensure that everyone has access to clean water.

This may seem like an impossible dream, getting everyone in the world on the same side of one issue, but dreaming big is where true successes stem from.

Travel to the Trinity: Part II

I chose a much better day to visit the lovely Trinity. It was Sunday, September 28 and it was finally sunny! Lucky for me, my sister lives in the apartments with a view of the Trinity, so I was able to get a much brighter better shot this time.

Ahh, much better. 

This picture is clear and crisp, unlike the murky water. I am still saddened by the amount of green in the river. 

This time I ventured down a path to see if there was a bench to sit on, and eureka!, there was. I, unfortunately, forgot to take a photo of said beautiful bench. 

Because of the better weather, I was graced with a far better collection of subjects people to observe. I saw 12 (TWELVE) people on walks with their dogs, 4 moms with strollers, 2 families, and 3 couples. It must have been family day. 

It is interesting that on such a sunny day people went out with others, presumably loved ones. But on the cloudy day, folks went out by their lonesome. Maybe the weather was representative of their mood that day? So they felt they had to connect with nature, and the same can be said for sunny days. 

Sunday is also a great day to visit the Trinity because it is a day of rest. Whether you believe in God or not, resting is promoted in our culture on Sundays. Eat brunch, go to the farmer's market, watch football, walk the Trinity. All on the list of acceptable Sunday activities. 

One of the three couples thought a great place to have a deep discussion was on the bench right next to me and yell talk about their problems. 

They talked about grad school and the big gray, scary place called "after college" and came to no conclusions. But they did manage to make me feel extremely uncomfortable. (5 points to Gryffindor?) 

Then a precious family walked by with two little girls and a little boy. They reminded me so much of my family 15 years ago. Two girls, separated by only a couple of years, attached at the hip, and obsessing over their perfect, unworldly, little brother. You could feel the parents pride. The parents laughed at things their kids did, but in an encouraging, nonjudgmental way. 

Side note: these people sound like I invented them. Especially when I tell you they packed a picnic.

Anyway, this transportation into time was lovely and picturesque. 

I saw a corgi, two yellow labs, a golden retriever, and some other dogs which I could not tell you their breed. 

I saw green water, and a blue couple, and a bright yellow family. 

People always flock to water. Why do we go to the beach? Why is a restaurant or hotel room so much more expensive better with a lake/ocean/pond view? Is it because on some deep level, all humans connect with water in a way they can't explain?

Probably, yes.

Water is beautiful and vital. We literally could not live without it. But we live in a world where we treat it like trash. 

And even though no one littered near or around the area of the Trinity that I was in, it is somehow still green. 

Travel to the Trinity: Part I

On Friday of last week I visited the Trinity river. Specifically I was near the area of the Trinity by Woodshed. Upon arriving and finding a comfortable spot of grass to sit on, I realized something peculiar. The Trinity river is not as it looks here.

Or here

Instead it looked like this. 

And this. 

Not only was I not blessed enough to have visited at twilight or on a sunny, breezy afternoon, but I also was graced with this hideous green "water." Not exactly what you expect when you have Google Image searched "Trinity River" before. 

Did I pick the wrong place to observe? Is there a green river monster polluting Fort Worth's great river? I digress. 

Once I was situated, I did something unspeakable. Yes, you guessed it, I turned off my phone. I decided to go old school and just sit and think with zero interruptions. Which was easy because few people passed on such a miserable day. 

I love the way the wind whistled through the short blades of grass, even when it was only a whisper of a breeze. It was peaceful in a way you can't always find in a big city. I have found in my years living in Fort Worth that is it full of beautiful snippets of nature; a whisper of the wild. The Botanical Gardens, Water Gardens, and the Trinity all make for a nice break from a skyline. 

I saw a little family of ducks walk by (they didn't swim by, obviously afraid of the green-hued water). I thought it was odd that baby ducks were born anytime but the spring. The idea of rebirth in the spring has been so powerfully engrained in my mind I found it difficult to imagine a baby duckling walking through crunchy leaves instead of soft, meadow, bright green grasses. 

I saw a whopping three people in my observational study of the Trinity. 

Subject 1: A woman jogging with her baby (Subject 2) in the stroller. Power to you, mom who can power through the Trinity trails. You have me beat. 

Subject 2: Baby above.

Subject 3: A man running with a German Shepherd. Both were in tip-top physical shape and could impressively stay in step with the other. 

Such a dismal day was no help. I prayed for someone to come downstairs from the apartment building across the way, or even someone taking a picture after eating at Woodshed. My prayers were not answered. I saw only three other humans (listed above). 

I had to get creative. So I started looking at the clouds. I decided to crawl back into that dusty old box covered in cobwebs in the deserted corner of my mind that reads "Fifth Grade" and try to distinguish cloud patterns to no avail. 

Then I let my mind drift. When I do this, I tend to analyze everything I have to do in the next week, and then go from there and always end up thinking what am I going to do after college? 

Which is a rabbit hole I decided not to go down.

Instead I got to thinking about my plans to study abroad next semester in Florence, which always gets really dreamy and romanticized. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, and I plan to visit as many places as possible while I am in Europe. That can't be expensive right? Of course not, naive Hayley. 

I realized after looking at my phone (which was off and was not help) watch, I had been sitting in the grass for a solid hour. That may not be impressive to Thoreau and the like, but for a 20 year-old college student, I was impressed with myself. 

Nature is beautiful and thought provoking, but even more it brings the absence of technology. This is what made my first Travel to the Trinity so interesting. I don't have an extensive work about the world around me, but I do have an hour without my phone. That is something I will applaud myself for, no matter how sad it is that I find it applause-worthy. 

Who Am I to Judge?

After discussing major themes in Huck Finn nearly two weeks ago, I have finally digested all the information. Our discussion forced me to look at the work, Mark Twain, and myself to discover if this  work was racist, or instead a criticism of racism. For a long time, four years to be exact, I have considered this book to be a criticism of racism. I believed Mark Twain was so disgusted with society that he used satire to poke a hole in the veil of the times. How could a man who depicted such rich, multi-dimensional black characters such as Jim be a racist himself?

Reading this book for the second time, with a set of older more globally aware eyes got my gears turning. I have become a critical thinker, an extreme devil's advocate of myself and the world around me. I rarely make decisions without asking myself "what if" or how doing the opposite would affect things. With this view, I set to read Huck Finn in a way I hadn't before. I was strived to be unbiased.

After pouring over the book, analyzing Twain's language, and agonizing over my decision, I have come to one. Maybe this has been said before, and maybe everyone knows this, but it is significant enough to point out again. What if Huck's conscience agonizing over what his heart believes is right and what his upbringing and society tell him is right is actually a mirror of what Twain's internal struggle was? Is it possible that Twain used his most famous novel as a way to plot out his decision? I'm here to say yes. I believe Twain used Huck as a character to show his own internal struggle of what society told him was right (i.e. slavery, racism, degradation of all black people) and what his heart told him was true (i.e. black people are people all the same, regardless of their skin color).

Jim is a golden-hearted man. The only reason Huck ever considers this to be false is that he also happens to be black. Maybe Huck's internal struggle is representative of the struggle many people had, instead of just Twain himself. Twain started a conversation about racism in this country that we still are engaged in today.

This realization made me take a look in the mirror. Am I unconsciously racist? Do I racially profile? I was born and raised in Florida, a place where there are people that are white, black, purple, and green. My parents were adamant in raising someone who respects races for whoever they want to be. Actually, someone who respects people for whoever they want to be. Who am I to judge someone based on anything, especially the way they look? I am just a person trying to find my place in life. Everyone is their own person, searching for whatever desire they pursue. I am in no position to judge.

I am not blind to the fact that racism still exists in this country, and moreover this planet. I don't pretend that I have ever been subject to racism as a white girl from a prep school in the upper middle class. But I am firmly against judgment of people. Sexual orientation, race, religion, beliefs, gender identification are all things I cannot possibly choose for another person. So why should I judge them for it?

Tranquility in the City Center

If I were to describe to you the Fort Worth Water Gardens in one word, it would be tranquil. The day I went it was overcast, chilly, and there was an aura of silence. Interacting with water is something I have done since I was young. Being from Florida, getting to the beach took little time, and I did it often. I have always loved the humble feeling I get walking away from the ocean, imagining myself as a tiny drop of water in this ocean of life.

The Fort Worth Water Gardens is very different. While it is large, it isn't huge in a way that is isn't comprehensible; I can see to the other side of it. I don't get the same feeling; instead I see art. The way there are only a few paths to get down to the center was something I connected with the idea of success. In life, there are only so many paths you can take to get to where you want to be.

Sitting, just watching the micro-water falls made me peaceful, tranquil, and thoughtful. Worries drifted through my mind and directly out of it with the lapping of the water. If anyone has anxieties, please visit this sacred place. It will hug your mind out of its worries.

What is "Literature" and "Civilization?"

I'm sure lots of people have lots of different ideas as to what literature is. I instantly think of Shakespeare, Marlowe, Fitzgerald, and Rowling. Others may think of endless assignments and sonnets with little to no meaning to them.
What exactly does civilization mean? I think back to the Dark Ages and beyond, when the dollar and the internet didn't exist (gasp!).
After asking three people what they thought these words meant, I have a better grasp on the definitions too.

Morgan Vienneau
Literature: "Written works that express language."
Civilization: "A group of living people."

Sarah Posz
Literature: "A group or body of writings about a common theme."
Civilization: "Groups of people colonized in one place who share a common goal."

Courtney Bogert
Literature: "Mark Twain, and something I don't like."
Civilization: "A community built on principles shared by the majority of its citizens."

It seems that everyone has a grasp on the fact that literature has to do with writing and that civilizations have to do with people, but beyond that strict definitions become moot because these words can mean different things to anyone.